The Future of Marriage

Today I’m taking a page out of “Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper” by SARK. She talks about using writing to create the future you want. I’ve been a bit disillusioned┬árecently, and I want to write my way out of it.

I was pretty sure Australia wouldn’t vote for someone as horrible as Tony Abbott, I was wrong. I was pretty sure the US wouldn’t vote for someone as horrible as Donald Trump, I was wrong.

So when I think of how the vote will go to allow same-sex marriage in Australia, I am reserving my optimism. This sucks because I’m usually pretty optimistic. So if I let go of the concern that the vocal opponents, the ‘No voters’ are more numerous than expected, what is the future I want to create?

Marriage doesn’t rate highly for me. Of course I want the right to marry my partner, but actually doing it is up in the air. Family members saying they want us to marry is lovely, and it’s had us reconsider and talk about the possibility. And it gives me an opportunity to be less dismissive of it, to see the value in it.

But really, I’d prefer to see relationships take a different shape. In the future I envision, we don’t seek a mate for life. We may have a companion that’s by our side for long periods, decades even, but not to the exclusion of all others.

Especially if advances in biotech enable us to live longer lives, do we really want to use a principle for relationships that was established when our life expectancy was half what it is now? I imagine a free-flowing model of relationships that is more about mutual enjoyment and growing through connection, one where longevity isn’t a measurement of relationship success.

I imagine having many kinds of relationships, some platonic, some intimate, some sexual, some based on companionship, some on shared interests, some on circumstance and affinity. Can you imagine a deep sense of belonging from a long-held connection being as valued as the excitement of a new paramour? Can you imagine being free to explore, flirt, and connect with people as deeply or frivolously as you like?

In many ways, this is the antithesis of marriage, but maybe it will take on a new meaning. Maybe marriage will morph and change as everything does. Regardless, the first step is making it an equal access opportunity, for those who want it, and to legitimise our relationships instead of being on the fringe.

 

This post is day 19 of 45 posts for 45 years.

Being the worm

One hundred of us in the Channel 9 TV studio in Richmond watched PM Kevin Rudd and Opposition Leader Tony Abbott as the debated Healthcare funding and hospital reform at the Press Club in Canberra.

Each of us had a hand held device with a keypad to record our approval or dissaproval of what was being said by the leaders. 1 being the lowest and 9 for the highest indicator of approval. The data was gathered wirelessly and reflected on a screen we couldn’t see (to avoid influencing our opinions) but was on the screen below the leaders as it aired live. Viewers could see our collective response as “the worm” rising and falling like a wriggler on the screen as we either liked or disliked what was said.

At the end the host and Canberra correspondent noted the times the worm peaked and troughed. I heard from a colleague who watched it live, he said the worm went down most of the time Tony Abbott spoke. It was good to hear, I don’t think I had any thing higher than 5 when he was talking. Sure he was on the back foot to start with, however that position doesn’t come with a license to complain incessantly.

The debate could have been over in 15 minutes, very little new content was contributed by either leader after that point. Repetative mudslinging was the main theme for most of it. Though Rudd attempted to stay positive he did his share of defending and attacking.

It’s a sad state of affairs in australian political leadership. Perhaps it’s the norm but I refuse to be satisfied with mediocre! Today’s display may have been consistent with historical behavior, and that’s no excuse! More of the same produces more of the same. I see little reason for optimism yet I manage to hold out hope that a new kind of leadership is emerging from the shadows. If I can help support this shift you know I will!